The Day Reservered for Mothers

So it just dawns on me a few days ago that this Sunday is Mother's Day & that go me thinking, I have seven women that I call Mom. Eight if you count my own birth mother. Which makes me think I’m over compensating, just a bit? I care about all my moms. A few of them I haven't seen in years but if I should ever walk through the door I would be treated just like the daughters they gave birth to, including the discipline. So this post is about the women that have helped shape me into the person I am today.
The mother I know the least about is my friend Connie's mom. I call her mom because of her daughter. See, her daughter & I used to work together & we got to be really close & one day we were arguing back & forth so animatedly that one of our co-workers asked us if were married since we were fighting like married couples do. We stopped arguing, looked at our co-worker, looked at each other, & replied yes at the same time. Since then I call her my wife. I think I'm one of the few heterosexual women that actually have a wife & no husband outside of maybe Utah, maybe. Anyway the first time I met Connie's mom she introduced me as her wife. It was hilarious because unlike me, my Connie is bi-sexual & has seriously dated girls in the past so her mom was use to it. She was just a little upset that she wasn't invited to the 'wedding'. Anyway that's one of my first moms. Truth be told I don't even remember her first name (sorry Connie) I've always just called her mom. She's a special one. I'm worried about her currently because she's been sick a long time. There have been ups & downs (mostly downs) were her health is concerned & it takes a large toll on Connie's health. She feels like she is the only person her mom has since here sister isn't the most responsible person. It wouldn't be so bad except Connie has serious health issues of her own & she doesn't have anyone that can hold her burdens while she takes care of her moms. I worry about her like crazy & wish there was some way I could help.
Now, these moms are in no particular order of importance, not really. I care about all my moms. The next one is Mother Engert, my friend Terry's mom. She's a kicky old lady, I like her. She helped me out a lot when I lived here before. It was during the summertime & I had my first apartment that had no central air. Not only did it not have central air it didn't have a cooling unit either. So she let me stay over her house during the summer, a lot. Not only that but Terry & her mom integrated me into their family. Terry knows that I'm not into family gatherings of my own & the family I did have in St.Louis at the time didn't do anything for the holidays so she carted me off to just about every big gathering her family had. Terry had a BIG family, huge. She has so many nieces & nephews that have birthdays in the month of February they have one big party for them all. There are so many grandchildren that they have their own Easter egg hunt. They draw names in December so everyone doesn’t go bankrupt getting presents for everyone. And then there was me the black sheep of the family, literally. I was the only piece of color that family has. It started to be this running joke between us to make these off color remarks because it infuriated one of her sister in-laws. Her sister in-law Mary always tried to be uber conservative & never offend anybody. Anyway, Mother Engert is a really nice Lutheran mom. I got to see what happens when children get to curse at their parents. I was an experience, one I had never tired but an experience none the less.
Allow me a small digression for a moment to say this; there are a few words and/or phrases that I think are used a little too freely or loosely. For example, 'I'm fine'. Half the time people who ask how another is doing don't really care, they just use it as a space filler. Try answering something different than the normal & see the glazed look form over they're eyes. They won't see it coming & won't know what to say. I've done it, it's hilarious. 'I love you'. I won't go into too much detail about this misused phrase. That's a whole post in itself. 'Best friend'. What qualifies someone to be a best friend? Does a certain amount of time have to pass? Money exchanged, situations endured together, what? I found out the other day that I'm the best friend of someone that I never called my best friend. Is that allowed? Can you have a best friend in every state you lived in & if that's so does your best friend in one state have to be best friends with the 'best friend' in the other state. What qualifies someone as your best friend? When do they stop being considered your best friend? Is there a best friend rule book somewhere I could read up on this?
I say all that to say this, I count myself extremely fortunate to be able to call the same three women my best friends. Actually I haven't called them my friends in a while. They're my sisters. I'll admit we're not as close as we use to be but they've been there for me since we were in high school, their moms too. Delana's mom, Momma Jones, was the quiet type of church going mom. She didn't say much & was always kind of reserve. However, hell hath no fury if you ever should happen to find yourself on the bad side of that woman. She can get with the best of them & come out on top. I learned quiet but deadly patience from her. I haven't talked to her in a while, I miss her. Momma Sykes, Paulette's mom I sometimes think I love more than my own. She has chastised & supported me in the same breathe. She was the one who stayed with me during my surgery. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for that woman. Now she is not the one to be crossed. There is nothing silent about her fury. She is the commander & chief make no mistake. If I'm able to retain half the strength that woman has I consider myself very lucky. We never called Quiana's step-mom mom. We always called her Sherri. Shee...she was always well coordinated, yeah.
Next there's Dale. Dale was one of my father's girlfriends when I was entering my mid-teen years. I never called her mom but she was my acting mom for a while. She taught me it was okay if I had expensive taste. That there was nothing wrong with that. My dad was overly thrifty & since I was the oldest I had it engrained in me to think of everyone & not just myself. So if I had to compromise my wants for the greater good of the younger siblings then that's what I did. Dale taught me it was okay to be selfish sometimes. She taught me womanly classiness. All of my feminine ways I owe to her. I haven't talked to her in a while either. My since of loyalty was split when she & my dad broke up cause I cared about her a lot (still do) but at the same time I didn't want to make my dad uncomfortable.
The other moms I have are just in name only, sort of. Momma Faye is my Cousin Kelly's mom. Why don't I call her aunt, because Kelly really isn't my cousin? She is the former college roommate of my real cousin's husband's sister who also use to be my real aunt's (real cousin's mother) sister in-law (did you get all that)? Momma Faye is great, kooky, but great. The lady can cook her ass off, ya hur me. Oh my god, her gumbo for Thanksgiving is off the banger. Mommy Linda is the god-sister of my grandmother. God-sister or play-sister I can never remember. But I've always called her Mommy Linda. I'm her favorite out of my grandmother's grandchildren. At least that's how I remember it. She gave me my first few taste of alcohol. Her drink of choice was E&J and Coke over ice. She's as crazy as my grandmother use to be.
My ex-boyfriend's mother I had to stop calling mom, well, for obvious reasons. I think maybe because her age was more near my grandmothers than my mom's I saw her in more of that role than of s motherly kind. I use to take care of her as much as I could. I would put small increments of money in her account so she could do things she wanted to do & that she had to do because her kids, with the exception of her youngest son (the one I was dating) were also of significant age & couldn't help. I didn’t do it a lot just a few times. She wasn't always the most pleasant woman but now knowing her son the way I do I know why. As with the going trend of this post I haven't talked to her in a while either. Again, for obvious reasons. Her son broke my heart & she knows that. From the last time I did talk to her I think he broke hers too.
And then there is my birth mother, Shari. It used to be pronounced Sherry but from what I was told it was changed when she was in cosmetology school. I stopped typing this post & came back to it because I know I was nearing the point where I would have to talk about my own mother. But truth be told I really don't know what to say about her. I know that I miss the person she was & am intolerable off the person she's become. I sat & thought for hours but couldn't remember any good memories about my mom without the not so good ones infiltrating my though patterns. She's my mother. She's the person who carried me in her womb & took care of me till she wasn't able to anymore. I am her oldest child & will try my best to take on that role in whatever capacity the situation calls for. I realized long ago (without getting into too much detail) that you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped. She's my mom & I just want her to be okay.
So there is my tribute to all of my moms in recognition of their day. Each one has touched my life in so many ways & many continue to do so. Thank you ladies for everything.